Never been LOVED!

It dawned on me recently that I’ve (yes I am admitting this) never been in love!  

It seems that everyone around me is getting married, in a relationship or displaying some public affection .. what is it about love and relationship that has been taking over our lives lately from  movies, songs, tv and more?!

As a young high schooler I’ve always acted in a mature manner (almost) .. I often questioned why young kids (from all over the globe) seek “love” relationship and start acting as a married couple at such a young age .. I believed that real love comes sometime in the future when we are much wiser .. (even today when I see young teenagers dating and acting like they are in a real marriage  with all their jealousy and stuff … this makes me sad..they should be just normal teenagers in my opinion) 

I carried this thought throughout college too .. I am in college to learn and have fun so what’s this relationship nonsense those college kids get themselves into .. I remember some of my friends and their nights of broken hearts .. WHY?! I didn’t get it .. it’s too early for such drama in our lives..

Few years past college days now ..and it just hit me that I never been in love nor in a relationship before .. I wasn’t even looking for one till recently .. recently and for the first time I realized that I’ve spent years shutting myself that it just became a comfort to me .. selfishness (I say this in a positive way) has taken over my life : I want to travel and explore and follow my plans in life and I am not sure how much could I compromise .. not having someone be part of my life became (unconsciously) my comfort  zone.. 

But am only human and I want to have a companion in life .. I thought that I was waiting for the right person to come along .. that person that makes everything worth taking a risk .. I am not a person who follows a check list in life (graduate check, get a job check, find a wife check, have kids check) .. I am looking for a best friend .. someone who’ll accept my many flaws and awkwardness at times and I hers (which hopefully are much less than mine) .. but I am starting to realize that that person will not come along because deep down I am not allowing myself to be open and vulnerable and share an important part of my life with someone else.. 

with all this realization ..I still believe that I don’t have to desperately seek love or settle for the norm or even pretend.. I know that when she finally shows up I will be sure of it .. I just have  to allow myself to be ready to fall in love! Until then I am enjoying and appreciating my life..


20 responses

  1. YUP!
    It will all happen in time! and it will be marvelous and a joyful moment. And you will cherish everything that surround her…

    It will come… but in the right time inshallah 🙂

    August 29, 2010 at 2:27 pm

  2. not too new man, I’ve met many people who never been loved nor in relationship but gotta admit I admire them, like wow they mostly want to achieve a good career and follow their dreams then hit the love and marriage, but man those teenagers just fell in love, and love is some kind of accident that hits to your heart immediately, like you said you want to look for a best friend that accept your flaws but they found a best friend at early age and fell in love together in a sudden, we can’t control ourselves from it!

    and most of all they had full of free time and maybe not receiving love from parents, or copying the media or followers.

    ent 3aksi, I had been loved and all but now I’m getting myself away to loneliness, pushed everything and looking for career and life, can you realize that on 20’s just stopped thinking of love and marriage? ;/

    August 29, 2010 at 2:56 pm

    • Love to me is a state of heart and mind too … I think there’s a love that is imposed to us by the media (all the cliches) and that makes people drawin to it but it doesn’t last … and there’s pure love that may not look like the conventional love stories we hear of … that is the one I am looking for … but lonliness is also nice don’t be afraid of it

      August 29, 2010 at 3:14 pm

  3. meme

    i agree, it’s mostly from the media. Teens feel that there’s something missing in their lives, which is love.

    There are people that found it when they were young (high school) and still happy. There are people that found it when they reached their goals but are not happy.

    It’s not about when it happens.

    Don’t look for it, it will just come.

    I used to think that it was pathetic for people to fall in love at an early age, but i know people that did and realized that it’s not about when it happens. If it’s meant to be it will continue and if it’s not, both of them would have to move on.

    In high school or when you’re 40, who knows.

    August 29, 2010 at 3:46 pm

    • true .. I believe that it’ll come in the right time … i just have to allow myself and “be accomodating”

      August 29, 2010 at 9:37 pm

  4. LOVE LoVe love

    There is nothing more magical than truly loving someone who truly loves you back.

    What are you waiting for??? Don’t let your Kuwaiti Mama do it for you. Go out and get you some of that magic. I hope you meet someone that knocks your socks off, makes your head spin and butterflies dance in your tummy. 😀

    August 29, 2010 at 3:55 pm

    • lol … my mama is not that kinda mama ..

      August 29, 2010 at 9:35 pm

  5. True True kl kalam elly tgoola 9a7ee7 faa yalla meta bt7b:Pp

    August 29, 2010 at 4:12 pm

  6. giggles

    allah ewafgik inshala o telga bint il 7alal eli tes3edik il 9aber zain and everything happens for a reason, you just have to wait o etha allah kateblik il zawaj that someone will come eventually and without knowing you will feel that she is the one for you inshala.

    August 29, 2010 at 11:20 pm

    • Thanks … I believe in that too … it is just that I have been too consumed with my life that I just realized that I am not allowing myself to be in love

      August 30, 2010 at 1:05 am

  7. Moody Panties

    I dont wana sound like a love therapist, but i dont think the reason was that you were shutting yourself out, i think because you were wise alot through your life, you just didnt take any risks. and thats not a bad thing, i just think you didnt find the right person who showed you enough attention and you thought they are worth it!
    believe me, theres nothing like love, and you can easily tell you are goin that road when you are there.

    August 30, 2010 at 11:10 am

    • could be .. it feels to me that sometimes u want to achieve something that you forget everything else around you .. maybe its a matter of not finding the right person or maybe its not that i didn’t find her but that i did not realize it coz i wasn’t allowing myself that ..

      August 30, 2010 at 1:36 pm

  8. Dear…….

    Don’t worry. My owner has been married for over 25 years and is still not sure what real love is.

    I know one thing though….. She really loves me,(her dog), because I am helpless without her…….

    Great photography by the way.

    I see you also like to travel. Have you read The Alchemist? It’s one of my owners’ favourite reads. She would really love to travel, but does not always have the funds, so she, you know, drifts off in her head sometimes.

    August 31, 2010 at 9:52 pm

  9. It will come, when the time is right you will find yourself falling n love. You will compromise, actually both of you, and that’s the beauty of love, sacrificing for the person you love, and who knows, she might enjoy traveling too, and you could do it together, that’s what i call a home run 🙂

    September 1, 2010 at 12:55 am

  10. First Visit, And i just loved your blog!

    About the post..

    love is not a silly ‘teenagery’ relationship, that 2 people date and he get jealous if some dude hit on her..

    Love is when you get ready for it.. when your sure you wanna share whatevar (awkwardness things) you may have=p.. but as long as you thought of it, just wait and see, when you finally meet her, start to know her, thats when you finally made it.


    September 1, 2010 at 4:52 am

    • teenage love the way I see it is embedded in other things … because at this age we look for more than just relationship … but to some it can elevate in the future to love … as for me, it comes when it comes 🙂

      September 1, 2010 at 1:12 pm

    • and thanks for the nice words 🙂

      September 1, 2010 at 1:12 pm

  11. Love is commitment. This is the core. The rest are laces. I guess.

    September 3, 2010 at 8:22 pm

  12. Mavrose

    Hi… Just saw your post. 
    What you wrote- is- very similar to my experiences. Like you read my Heart & Mind… 
    I have been fortunate (blessed) to live a life that is of passion, travel and service. 
    I have never been in love… 
    My internal question to myself is … Like anything else, if you don’t use it, do you lose it? 
    There is a great quote from West Wing, ‘this (meaning love & relationships) and skiing, it’s too late.’
    Thanks again 

    March 8, 2011 at 9:53 pm

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